Did you know that the commonly seen effect in flash photography called Red Eye is a good thing? I know it makes you look possessed or cartoonish, but its not such a bad thing.
Our youngest son, Danny, has a condition called PHPV. That's Persistent Hyperplastic Primary Vitreous, or as its also known as Persistent Fetal Vasculature. This is a condition where blood vessels that are important in eye development remain in place even after birth. They are supposed to be absorbed by the body, leaving the eye clear and free to let light in. When it persists, it can cause a white looking eye (leukocorea), cataract, and can lead to glaucoma, and loss of vision. Fortunately, the human body is pretty tolerant of such things and he will lead a pretty normal life. Some kids however, are diagnosed with other much more serious problems such as Retinoblastosis or RB for short.
Typically, the first sign of either of these conditions is the lack of Red Eye Reflex and it shows up in your flash photography usually before it shows up in a pediatric eye exam. Anytime the eyes display a whitish or opaque pupil, its time to take your child to a pediatric ophthalmologist immediately.
Fortunately, there are treatments for both of these conditions, but you must act quickly before the child loses his vision, or worse has the more serious life threatening condition of RB.
In our attempts to deal with Danny's obvious eye condition, we found that there are few medical professionals who understand the importance of a dilated eye exam.
As a result, I have created an educational poster promoting Red Eye Awareness. It can be found on one of my other blogs http://phpvpfvawareness.blogspot.com
If you care to help, I would appreciate it if you would save the poster (image on main post) and print it on a color printer at 11x17 or larger if available, printing information about your local eye institute or pediatric ophthalmologist, and distribute them at your local stores, doctors offices, hospitals, schools, wherever, just to get the word out.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
Saturday, September 8, 2007
Parenting a large family
My wife and I have what's called a blended family, and together we have six wonderful children. We were both previously married, and have children from those prior relationships, and since being together, we have had our 6th child just this year. This is a pretty rare sized family in today's world, but amazingly we find time to handle everything that needs to get done. We ensure structure for the kids, schedule all activities with great care, share just about every meal, and find it busy, busy busy all the time.
It seems that most people when getting to know you, always ask - how many kids do you have? It's a great question, and without going into the details of how, we go straight to the number - SIX. The reactions are pretty much universal. Gasp! How many? I have one (or two) and I can't keep up. Don't you have a TV?, etc. How do you manage all those kids???
Here is how we do it.
First, we have become pretty aware of our own mannors and behaviors, so we try to master how we feel in every situation, and try not to "over react" over the little things. Unless you are in the emergency room as a result of some action, it is probably a little thing, and we simply don't get excited about it. Kids take their queues from their parents, and will escalate the sound levls and emotion of a situation if they see you excied, paniced or otherwise stressed and looking like Bill the Cat. Aaaaaaakkkk!
Second, we schedule as much as we can. Planning when we have all of the kids at once, when we will have some, or none at all, and stick tightly to that plan. This involves considerable coordination and appropriate communication with our respective ex's (the kid's other parents). Planning what we do with the kids, what meals we eat and scheduling homework, extra curricular activities, and family time is key for us in setting expectations and being able to deliver on those expectations to and by the kids. They even get to provide input on what they would like to do or accomplish over the next few days or weeks, and we accommodate where possible.
Third, we establish some basic rules for behavior. For example, there is to be no deliberate harassment of each other (including of us parents), or we sit together for dinner, mind our manors, speak with indoor voices, and when we are done eating, ask to be excused, take their dishes to the kitchen (or endure kitchen duty). They are allowed to talk, laugh, play and have a good time. We catch then when they are doing something good, and acknowledge and praise them for it. Competition is high with our three oldest being boys, over the two girls in the middle, and will expect them to play fair, pitch in, and support each other. One Easter egg hunt game, we even had them all compliment each other out loud, when someone else found an egg. It was a great activity for the kids to build confidence and demonstrate their support of each other.
Fourth, this is more of a continuation of number three above, we set bedtimes. Of course there is flexibility on the weekends, but we don't allow the kids to play video games all night long, or stay up watching scary movies on school nights. Bedtimes, ensure they get enough rest, for their growing bodies, and it helps them concentrate in school the next day.
Fifth, we support the kids in their homework activities. We will all sit at the table together, and help each other complete our papers, or discuss math, science, grammer and coloring (for the younger ones). We also let the kids see that we enjoy reading and learning. Life is full of lessons, and we should not stop learning just because we have completed some level of schooling.
Sixth, meal times are very interesting. It is difficult to get everyone to agree to all the foods we cook for dinner sometimes. However, the rules are simple. We all must try some of everything on our plates. Sometimes someone will refuse to eat something because they don't like it, it tastes funny, or whatever excuse they come up with. But, if they give it a real try, it's alright with us. They are also expected to say "please" and "thank you" when passing food items, and "may I be excused?" Practicing manors helps to demonstrate respect to each other, and without respect, we have chaos. It's funny, we rarely have leftovers, the kids eat like a horde of starving soldiers.
Lastly, we let the kids know exactly how much they mean to us. They know we love them. Not just because of our words, but because of how we behave. We set a good example and hope it will encourage them to be the same way in their future lives with their families.
Of course, these are little things that we do in our house, and over time, we have become a pretty tight family unit. The kids are learning respect for each other, and for us, they have rules that help confine and define what is good and acceptable behavior. They learn to support and defend each other, and to try different things (foods, and experiences). I like to tell the kids that we are rich in family, and that I could want nothing more than the same for them.
It seems that most people when getting to know you, always ask - how many kids do you have? It's a great question, and without going into the details of how, we go straight to the number - SIX. The reactions are pretty much universal. Gasp! How many? I have one (or two) and I can't keep up. Don't you have a TV?, etc. How do you manage all those kids???
Here is how we do it.
First, we have become pretty aware of our own mannors and behaviors, so we try to master how we feel in every situation, and try not to "over react" over the little things. Unless you are in the emergency room as a result of some action, it is probably a little thing, and we simply don't get excited about it. Kids take their queues from their parents, and will escalate the sound levls and emotion of a situation if they see you excied, paniced or otherwise stressed and looking like Bill the Cat. Aaaaaaakkkk!
Second, we schedule as much as we can. Planning when we have all of the kids at once, when we will have some, or none at all, and stick tightly to that plan. This involves considerable coordination and appropriate communication with our respective ex's (the kid's other parents). Planning what we do with the kids, what meals we eat and scheduling homework, extra curricular activities, and family time is key for us in setting expectations and being able to deliver on those expectations to and by the kids. They even get to provide input on what they would like to do or accomplish over the next few days or weeks, and we accommodate where possible.
Third, we establish some basic rules for behavior. For example, there is to be no deliberate harassment of each other (including of us parents), or we sit together for dinner, mind our manors, speak with indoor voices, and when we are done eating, ask to be excused, take their dishes to the kitchen (or endure kitchen duty). They are allowed to talk, laugh, play and have a good time. We catch then when they are doing something good, and acknowledge and praise them for it. Competition is high with our three oldest being boys, over the two girls in the middle, and will expect them to play fair, pitch in, and support each other. One Easter egg hunt game, we even had them all compliment each other out loud, when someone else found an egg. It was a great activity for the kids to build confidence and demonstrate their support of each other.
Fourth, this is more of a continuation of number three above, we set bedtimes. Of course there is flexibility on the weekends, but we don't allow the kids to play video games all night long, or stay up watching scary movies on school nights. Bedtimes, ensure they get enough rest, for their growing bodies, and it helps them concentrate in school the next day.
Fifth, we support the kids in their homework activities. We will all sit at the table together, and help each other complete our papers, or discuss math, science, grammer and coloring (for the younger ones). We also let the kids see that we enjoy reading and learning. Life is full of lessons, and we should not stop learning just because we have completed some level of schooling.
Sixth, meal times are very interesting. It is difficult to get everyone to agree to all the foods we cook for dinner sometimes. However, the rules are simple. We all must try some of everything on our plates. Sometimes someone will refuse to eat something because they don't like it, it tastes funny, or whatever excuse they come up with. But, if they give it a real try, it's alright with us. They are also expected to say "please" and "thank you" when passing food items, and "may I be excused?" Practicing manors helps to demonstrate respect to each other, and without respect, we have chaos. It's funny, we rarely have leftovers, the kids eat like a horde of starving soldiers.
Lastly, we let the kids know exactly how much they mean to us. They know we love them. Not just because of our words, but because of how we behave. We set a good example and hope it will encourage them to be the same way in their future lives with their families.
Of course, these are little things that we do in our house, and over time, we have become a pretty tight family unit. The kids are learning respect for each other, and for us, they have rules that help confine and define what is good and acceptable behavior. They learn to support and defend each other, and to try different things (foods, and experiences). I like to tell the kids that we are rich in family, and that I could want nothing more than the same for them.
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